


Ochi's Red

by yarinaosu



Category: Free!, Hikaru no Go
Genre: Destiny, Fate, M/M, Red String of Fate, soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 12:19:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4705766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yarinaosu/pseuds/yarinaosu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ochi Kousuke has always seen Touya Akira for what he really was: something to look at but not touch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ochi's Red

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: It's been a long time since I've written anything at all and I've been itching to write something up on Ochi and Touya. Ochi's probably the least likable but the most realistic character in Hikaru no Go. No matter how I work it in my head, Touya's an idiot and Ochi will never, ever have his happy ending with Touya. It's short, it's full of imagery and I don't think it quite hit what I was aiming for, but there's something there.

**Ochi's Red**

  
1\. _ruby_

  
Touya pauses. He's thinking fifty moves ahead, thinking about how to change the game, how to overcome, how to weave in small strategies within the board of oak with each thread of shale and stone. His hair is razor sharp, cut at angles, his glaring eyes reminiscent of his father, Touya Meijin, the only movement the tap and clatter of Go stones across the board. Touya Akira is polished, is revered, is loved.

  
Ochi looks but never touches. He's young, but he's too practical to try.  Most people think that Touya's soft, that he'll break, but it's always been Ochi.   It's why he plays the way he does, always attacking.  That's his only defense.

  
2\. _fire_

  
Touya Akira is breathing harshly, his hands clenched into a ball. He's furious at Shindou for running, for choosing to not play him, for hiding when Touya is right there. He's never felt so alive, so consumed, so enraged. He doesn't know how to handle his emotions and bulldozes everything and everyone around him, not realizing that he's burning. Burning himself, burning bridges, burning with scorn and contempt and obsession.

  
Ochi concedes to the fire, his pride waging war with his heart, the soot of denial, of being used and thrown away fueling the growing emptiness.  Losing to Shindou only confirmed it.  He's worthless.  He's nothing to Touya and Touya is everything to him. What does everyone see in Shindou anyways?  Why didn't Touya see him?  Why wasn't it working?  No matter how much Ochi tried, spat, pushed, Touya wouldn't look at him.  If he were honest, even before Shindou came, it was like this.  Always like this.

  
3\. _blood_

  
Touya tries to bottle everything in, but he's waiting, always waiting. When he gets impatient, he blows up, hurting because that's all he knows. He lives life the way he plays Go, to win, to cut, to see the next move. He wants Shindou. He wants Go. He wants Shindou and Go. Everything else is collateral.  

  
Ochi's silent. His grandfather's face is too white. It reminds Ochi of the color of Go stones. All of the life, the breath, the heart, is gone. Ochi can't put a name to this feeling, to this loss, to this dreaded understanding that there's nowhere he belongs now. Go is nothing. Touya is nothing. He has nothing and no one left. It would be inaccurate to say that Ochi is running away. To run away, you have to run from something.

  
4. _salmon_

  
Touya is moving up quickly in the Go world. He thinks that if he runs far enough, lures them enough, taunts them enough, his peers will chase after him.

  
Ochi is swimming. He's different here. He smiles more, relaxes in the warm burn of the sun, floats along the sea at low tide. He's not chasing, he's not fighting; it's scary to realize that he's finally living in the moment. His days are open but never empty.

  
5\. _cinder_

  
Touya is in the Room of Eternal Darkness. He's playing Ogata who smells like ash, like smoke. The room is like a premonition, a crossroads demon, a painting of Dorian Gray. Ogata is Touya, with 10 years, 15 years of despair and cunning and chasing shadows. In the darkness of the room, all of the stones turn black.

  
Ochi sticks his marshmallow over the campfire. A log breaks, sending a cloud of cinders up in the air.

  
6\. _scarlet_

  
Touya's hand is in Shindou's hair. They're always hot together, burning with competition, with rage, with tension. There's not much between them but animosity, but if this is what helps Touya feel, he's willing to do it, over and over again. He's thought about it before. A life without Go. That's all he knows and when he bruises lips against Shindou, he feels like it's close enough.

  
Ochi thumbs the fallen maple leaf. The row of gingko trees on the south end of campus is flooded with tourists, but Ochi has always been drawn to the strange dichotomy of sweet syrup and jagged edges. The blush of scarlet fades to a stale brown once it dries, but now, Ochi thinks as he looks up to the cascade of jagged sky, it's still soft, still springy underneath his shoes.

7\. _imperial_

Touya is at the top of the world. Titles adorn him like medals on a war hero. He's an accomplished general of Go. When his father dies, the world of Go mourns and all too quickly look to Touya as the successor of this mighty kingdom. He's won his medals. He's made his name. Now all he has to do is step into his father's shoes to be king.

Ochi thinks back to the past sometimes. Not often, but from time to time. He doesn't wallow. It used to be second nature to crawl into that bathroom stall and bawl his eyes out, cursing himself over and over again for mistakes that could have easily been avoided. He's older now. He knows now that it was normal to cry, normal to feel alone, normal to feel rejection. When he thinks of _him_ , it's always bittersweet, but he knows, he knows that life is a two-way street, that love does not equal a happy ending, that his heart hurts, but he's not bleeding, he's not dead and the only master of his fate is himself.

  
8\. _lust_

  
Skin. Shallow breaths. Dark corners. Dizzy nights. The pounding of karaoke music blaring in his ears, the whispered promises, the disheveled shirts, mussed hair and the smell of desire. Touya's riding a rollercoaster, fighting with Shindou, sleeping with Ogata, drinking until the sun comes up and waking up in love hotels. He feels tightly strung, like there's something missing in his life and he can't put a name to it. He plays Go the same way, wanting to win, wanting wanting wanting and not even thinking about the why anymore. He's seeking the Hand of God, but it's the wrong hand, the wrong place, the wrong time. The harder Touya tries, the higher he goes, the faster he falls.

Ochi is so practical, too practical. If his heart beats faster, if his cheeks redden, he calls it as it is. He has every reason to be one, but he's not a hopeless romantic. It's why he brings up the hand intertwined in his and kisses it. They don't always get along, but they trust eachother. Makoto is sweet and patient and unbearably slow, but Ochi loves that. Makoto is home.

  
9\. _pink_

  
The world is a haze. Touya's alone. They all think he should be happy. He's successful. He's beautiful. He doesn't even hurt when he hears the rumors, the scathing words, the backhanded compliments, the envy, the jabs, the two-faced love.

  
Ochi's good. He's really good at swimming, maybe even better than Makoto. He never went pro, but he still swims. When he swims off the chilly coast of Ishikari at sunset, he remembers those days after Go, the way the world turned from black and white to the warmest shade. Makoto.

  
10\. _rust_

  
Fragile, a skeleton of the past, unable to repair, cruelly fading away so slowly. Sometimes, Touya's mind wanders to an old opponent. It was years ago. He whispers the name to himself and then shakes his head, biting back a laugh. That opponent wasn't even worth thinking about, but he does.  He thinks about that phantom, that forgotten thought with his signature pinched look, that ugly bowl of hair the color of rust that makes him ache inside. Touya must be going crazy.

  
Ochi Kousuke has a family secret. Before they go to bed, he holds out his hand to Makoto. "Can you see it?"

  
Makoto puts his hand next to Ochi's and scrunches up his nose. "What? That you need to put on lotion?"

  
Ochi grins and pulls Makoto into the hollow under his chin, pressing a kiss onto Makoto's head. "Nothing.  Just messing with you."

 

There, on Ochi's pinky, is a simple string the color of steel rubbed raw by salt and sea, by oxygen burning up your lungs. Ochi's red.


End file.
